ALCSgasm: Game 2, The Liveblog

Well with the events of earlier today involving Cory Lidle, I venture into the serious (for once) and leave the lighthearted stuff for later and offer prayers and condolences to anyone involved. Back with the snark when the game begins...
Top 1:
And were off...and three pitches into the game Steve Lyons is annoying. Granderson takes one to the warning track. Neifi Perez is batting second, and promptly strike out looking. Super duper. It's like Leyland wants Polanco to bat with at least an out. Milk duds for everyone, Polanco gets a single. Apparently Loaiza dos not fear the mullet, Maggs strikes out to end the inning.
Bottom 1st:
Parliament Funkadelic is being used to sell minivans, fuck you Honda. Fugly Kendall pops out to start it off form the A's. And there goes the no hitter, Kotsay gets to second on the muff(tee hee hee) by Maggs. Way to block it Pudge, Kotsay to third. Milton Bradley shattered bat single just over Polanco's head. 1-0 A's. And a fucking balk? Not good. Big Hurt, big whiff, 2 away. Verlander seems to be hitting 100 mph, a lot more than I remember him ever doing. I don't think Fox's radar gun is fair and balanced. Chavez to Granderson to end the inning. Inning over 1-0 A's
Top 2nd:
So that Cubs fan has been up there since May? Lead off double for MVP Guillen. Pudge, time to make up for that passed ball. He advances the runner, you're off the hook for now Pudge. Sac fly from Monroe, who said the Tigers can't play smallball? Gomez is the DH? Well he lines out to end the Tigers half. Game tied at 1 a piece.
Bottom 2nd:
A first pitch out with Payton flying out to left. Somehow it makes sense that Nick Swisher went to tOSU. And he strikes out looking to an educated curveball. Domo arigato Mr Scutaro. He strikes out to end the inning. Still tied 1-1.
Top 3rd:
At this rate this game will be over by 10:30. Good more time for me to play Tiger Woods 07. That ball didn't want to come down because Kendall is so ugly. Well at least Neifi didn't strike out, baby steps. To the bottom.
Bottom 3rd:
A foul was just called on that Navigator. Wow, I can't see why those guys on the Holiday Inn commercials shows got cancelled last year. Brown Sugar Jimenez out with an infield pop up. Steve Lyons laughs like a guy I know, Crazy Don. They probably are of equal intelligence as well. Another double for Kotsay. Poop, 2 run homer for mister personality Milton Bradley. 3-1 A's. Another K for Thomas ends the inning. 3-1 A's
Top 4th:
of Casey's leg tear. Thanks Fox. Ah Fuck it's Gomez instead of Inge. Better represent Toledo, Another hit for Polanco, right up the middle. Maggs follows that with a single. Two on for the MVP. A very unMVPlike whiff for Guillen. Bases are ripe and juicy for C-MO. BASE HIT!!! Bases still loaded for Inge. Oh balls, now the trainers are looking at Monroe. Great the Zapruder of Casey calf muscle tear. Thanks Fox. Alexis Gomez is up. represent Toledo. A simple ground ball whoop! it squirts through for 2 runs. 4-3 El Tigres. Close play at the plate...good call ump. Monroe's safe with the 5th run for Detroit. Inge foul tip ends the half Tigers up 5-3.
Bottom 4th:
Sit on it Potsie! Chavez caught looking to start the 4th. Swisher's swinging to tie up the game. Saaawing and a miss. 2 Down. Verlander jams Scutaro to end the inning. Still 5-3 Tigers.
Top 5th:
Jimmy John's commercials creep me the hell out. Before I could even type anything funny to say Neifi Perez grounds out. Well played Mr Perez. Polanco is 3 for 3. Ordonez with a looong strike, then promptly hits into a double play.
Bottom 5th:
Stop lying Thom Brennaman, you still haven't had your first kiss, well from a girl. Polanco nearly pulls a play out of his ass. Verlander is having problems throwing strikes...this could be trouble. Milton Bradley obliges with a line out to centerfield, and Big Hurt with a little groundout to end the inning. 5-3 Tigers.
Top 6th:
Mark this day down, the announcers are fellating Detroit. I withdraw my previous comments Mr. Brenneman. With 2 out, C-Mo disrespects that fastball into the gap in center for a double. I don't think it was Leyland's magic that Gomez got that hit, it was more Chavez booting one. OK that one was all Leyland. Gomez goes deep to put the Tigers up 7-3. Buenos Noches Esteban.
Bottom 6th:
Chavez, welcome to October. He makes it 7-4. There appears to be no quit in Oakland. OK Jim, time to get Verlander. And he does, looks like Wil Ledezma. Let's hope he can keep his cap in one piece tonight. Swisher fouls his way to a walk. That made sense right? Marco Polo, pops up for the second out. And after much trepidation, a fly out ends the inning. Tigers lead 7-4 after 6 and it looks less and less likely I will have time to play Tiger 07 tonight.
Top 7th:
C Grand leads it off with a single. His first hit of series. Hey Neifi did something right, a sac bunt gets Granderson to second. They're intentionally walking Polanco, OK, will Maggs make them pay? Well no, but he didn't hit into a double play and there's runners at the corners for Guillen. Line drive ends it. Time to stretch.
Bottom 7th:
Jason Kendall likes gladiator movies and wrestling, go figure. Ledezma with a wicked slider gets Kotsay swinging. Milton Bradley makes it a little closer with a solo shot. 7-5 Tigers. It's Grilli Time!!!! OK that radar gun is way off Grilli just hit 98. Grilli gives him the heater and sits down Frank Thomas. End of 7, 7-5 Tigers.
Top 8th:
C-MO two feet away from a homer down the line. And what always seems to happen after a near home run, a out is made. The A's seem to want Alexis Gomez on base for some reason. Another booted ball and Gomez stands at first with two out. But Inge hits into a fielder's choice and we go to the bottom.
Bottom 8th:
Crooked hat time. Rodney is in. He starts off by getting Chavez to strike out swinging. Payton's place is on the bench as Rodney gets another K. Rodney strikes out the side. Crooked hats for everyone. Tigers up 7-5 as we go to the 9th.
Top 9th:
A's pulling out all the stops, their closer Huston Street is in. So much for that. C Grand is MONEY! Deep to centerfield, and that my friends is insurance. Lou Pinella wants to make out with Curtis. Hey he got it out of the infield. 0-3 with a sac bunt, Infante couldn't of done that? OK, OK they're winning I'll stop now. Finally they get Polanco out, with a strikeout. Maggs grounds out for the third out. It's Sponge Todd One-derpants time.
Bottom 9th:
First pitch strike, it's over. Teenage Mutant Ninja Scutaro leaves his Bo staff on his shoulders and strikes out looking. Jonesy with another first pitch strike. Another one bites the dust. Two down. Captain Fugly spoils the perfect save with a little base hit through the infield. Jonesy loves drama, throws 3 balls, then 2 strikes for a full count. Milton Bradley looming. And he will come up after a Kotsay single. I'm not at all nervous. Soft dribbler over the mound, everyone's safe. Bases loaded for Frank Thomas...fuck. First pitch strike. GAME OVER, and in the good way. Thomas goes o for 5, and the Tigers win. 8-5.
Post Game:
The Tigers are heading back to Detroit up 2-0. The Tigers fought from behind twice and took the lead and defended it well. The got the A's swinging early and often. Now they are two games away from an even bigger party at Comerica.