Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Perfect Valentine's Day Gift...Hate

With this being a day dedicated to loving and caring for others I thought what a perfect time to list the people and teams that should bring of the ire of the denizens of Tigerdom.
Honorable Mention:
  • Toronto Blue Jays. This used to be the Tigers main rival before alignment. But with the last major spark in this rivalry being the 1987 pennant race, the hatred has shifted to the back burner.
  • David Eckstein and the St. Louis Cardinals. Mini-Me & Co. turned a few hits and a few more Tiger errors into a World Series victory. Annoying, yes. Hateable, no. Plus the Tigers owned Bob Gibson in 1968.
  • The Yankees. Just because everyone else does.
On to the list:
10) Bobby Higginson
Nothing personal, it's just to me he's the personification of everything that went wrong with the Tigers in the pre-DD era.

9) Freddy Garcia
One of the biggest moves affecting the Tigers was the White Sox trade of Garcia to the Philles. Garcia has owned Detroit. He has 15 wins and a career ERA of 3.63 vs. the Tigers. There is still a 60% chance of facing him this year, with the Phillies on the interleague schedule, and that's enough to land him at #9

8) The Minnesota Twins
OK so it's hard for me to hate anyone from Minnesota, so this is more a friendly rivalry. That Pat Neshek guy with that kooky delivery is kind of annoying, but that's it. The only cursing the Twins get out of me is when Johan Santana strikes out the side.

7) Red Sox fans
Ever since 2004 they seem to be multiplying. The series when Boston comes to town is probably one of the worst when it comes to visiting fans in the stands. At least Yankee fans have 27 Championships to back their talking up with. Two championships in 91 years do not give you free rein. Hopefully with the increased ticket sales the games this year, the Boston accents will be few and far between.

6) The Cleveland Indians
Travis "Pronk" Hafner is one of those guys you say "crap" in your head when they're up to bat, because they always seem to do something bad to a baseball. Also, they look to be good this year, making it one of the few times both teams have been good in the same year. That plus the proximity could make for some fun games.

5) Rob Parker
In the height of his asshattery, claimed that Dave Dombrowski was worse than Matt Millen in a column so terrible that it is nowhere to be found in the Detroit News archives. He would be higher, but being on television with Skip Bayless is punishment enough.

4) Fox Sports (particularly Joe Buck and Tim McCarver)
These two with heavy Cardinal ties, couldn't hide their delight in "busting" Kenny Rogers in Game 2, and Cardinal success in general. Add to that McCarver's Alzheimer patient routine, and the fact that Joe Buck always sounds like an insufferable prick, it makes you reach for the mute button. No I'm not still bitter, why do you ask?

3) Randy Smith
If #10 Bobby is the symbol for everything wrong in the prior regime, Randy Smith is the cause. Poor trades, poor drafts, poor contracts. You name it; Randy did it to the Tigers. The reason for 679 losses in 8 seasons. I still think it should be legal to kick him in the nuts if he every steps foot in Detroit again.

2) Ozzie Guillen
Toeing that line between eccentric and crazy is Ozzie. Whether calling his countryman, Magglio, a "piece of shit", voting for Tony Bautista so Joe Crede would win the Gold Glove, or benching pitchers who won't bean batters, his transgressions against sanity have been well documented. The only reason he's not #1 is because he hates Jay Mariotti.

1) A.J. Pierzynski
This one's just too easy. Pretty much everyone in the MLB, including teammates, hates this guy. Whether it's the smug "baby who just farted" look permanently stamped on his face, or stupid acts like slapping home plate vs. the Cubs or bumping Craig Monroe after a home run, the guy is a jackass. A jackass that plays the Tigers 18 times. How can a guy that everyone loves to boo, not be number one?

1 comment:

zorak163 said...

I hate AJ so much... a few years ago during a TV broadcast Rod Allen claimed that his last name means "Feather-Butt." It's probably not true but it's what I've called him ever since.

I recently started a Tigers blog ( - any interest in trading links?