Thursday, September 21, 2006

Playoff Bound.

6 Games up on the White Sox with 12 to go...I think all that money I paid a few weeks ago will be going toward playoff tickets after all. This playoff berth more than likely will be as a wild card. At the end of the day more than likely, propelled by a Johan Santana win, the Twins will be in sole possession of first place, thanks to a Tiger loss earlier today to Baltimore. Can the Tigers still win the Central? Yes, they play Kansas City 6 times out of there last nine games. They will face a Blue Jay team without Roy Halladay next week. They are starting to hit again, especially Magglio showing the power that clean off hitters should possess with 5 HR in the past week (congrats on you 100th RBI today as well) and Granderson who has been on fire the past couple of days. The bats are back and the pitching can shut down KC and Toronto, the question is will the Twins lose? Well the Twins schedule is just as easy as the Tigers with Baltimore over the weekend then 4 games at home against KC before closing out the season vs. the White Sox. Realistically the Twins and Tigers will stay about a game apart until the final weekend, then the only hope that the Tigers have is sweeping the Royals and, rooting for Chicago to be the spoilers.
But 3 seasons after recording 100 losses beggars can't be choosy, and I'll take playoff baseball any way they get it. For many people meaningful baseball this late has been a new and exciting experience, with thousands upon thousands of dollars thrust forth in the purchasing of Tigers merchandise. In the interest of helping all those new fans, here's a handy guide to help you what a jersey purchase says about you.
1) You should wear something Tiger related to the game. The only accepted colors are white, blue, and orange. Attire for other Detroit teams are permissible, but not encouraged. And for the love of George Kell please do not wear any other baseball teams gear to the stadium. I don't care if they're not playing the Indians, there shouldn't be any Indian hats at all.
2) If you are going to buy a jersey, buy a real one, not one of those fake t-shirt ones. Nothing screams bandwagoner more than a cheap jersey t-shirt
3) If you decide to get a jersey, the name on the back sends a very important message to your fellow fans.
Pena or Higginson:(and yes you still see these): you live in Taylor, have Red Wing flags in the windows of your five color ford escort, and you're only wearing the Tiger jersey because your Teal Grant Hill Piston jersey has salsa dip on in.
Pudge: your either 10 years old or Puerto Rican
Inge: you're here just to get drunk on daiquiris and look at the player's asses
Zumaya: don't get me wrong, he's done a hell of a job, and will be a hell of a closer someday, but this is the bandwagon jersey of choice it seems. People in this jersey were the ones booing Todd Jones in June, the ones that cheer when JZ hits 100 mph...even if it's on a pitch out of the strike zone, and are usually the once drunk by the 5th inning and trying to start the wave.
Shelton: you're friends with chunk.
according to Ozzie Guillen, you're a Venezuelan piece of shit.
Granderson, Verlander, or Monroe: A solid investment on one of the building blocks for the Tigers success for the next few years.
Your own name: You are 35 years old with no kids, yet you bring a glove to the game and are first in line to try to get people to sign your hat before the game.

So there you go, if you were lucky enough to snap playoff ticket, when you go you won't look like a tool.

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