Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Back from my Field Trip

Being lucky enough to work in an industry that has most federal holidays off, I was out of town visiting a college roommate who had relocated to Texas. Well after seeing about a half hour of sun, inquisitive southerners (you from Dee-Troit?) and near freezing temperatures (thank you lousy El Nino) I return to find ice everywhere. Fun times. Let's get back in the swing of things.

There was no messing with Texas

So Chris Webber's a Piston now. He played his first game tonight. Didn't really do much. Had a lot of passes turn into misses by Piston shooters, a "shooter's touch" bucket, and a block and maybe a rebound in two limited appearances. A quick glance at the score sheet shows 2 pts. (1-5 shooting), 5 rebounds, 3 assists, and a block in 17 minutes. Nothing spectacular. The Pistons did seem to ride a bit of the energy wave when C-Webb hit the court. Added to the mix this was Chauncey and Lindsey Hunter's first game back. With those three arriving that means less time for Jason MaxPower, and the end of line for Nazr Mohammed, and possibly Flip Murray and Dale "Bubba Gump" Davis.

So the eleventy billion dollar question is, does this make the Pistons better?

As of right now, no. As evidenced tonight, the Pistons desperately need a big man who will work the paint. Rasheed is stuck in 3 point shoot out mode, and Webber as of now isn't drifting deep enough inside before dishing it out to open up outside shots for Rip, Tayshaun, and Chauncey. If Webber can adjust to the offense quickly, and actually play like a big man, that will make a huge difference in May and June. Add that to the people a potential trade of a big man could bring in (Bonzi Wells or MoPete, yay...Marko Jaric, boo) and Joe D might have another team in the Finals.

On to the NFL. The conference championship games are this weekend and...well I hate all the teams. Let's break down my vitriol.

- New England has smug dipshit Masshole fans, a marriage wrecking coach with the labor relation mindset of Henry Ford circa 1932, not to mention a supermodel banging golden boy QB. They've won enough Super Bowls to offset the shitty teams of the 70s and 80's, go away now.

Belichick cuts another WR.

- Indianapolis has the Peyton Manning preparing himself to fill the fellation void when Brett Farvarah retires, when he's not too busy filming commercials, having relations with country singers (no, not the hot chicks, the male ones), and shitting the bed during playoff games. Plus it's in fucking Indiana. My stance on this state has been well documented.

Cut that meat Peyton

- Chicago has the Sex Cannon Rex Grossman, but if they make it to the Super it will be so boooooooring. There D will shut down New England or Indy, but Sexy Rexy's fearless chucking it to anyone wearing a helmet will keep the game a field goal fest with 15 turnovers. Leading to my eventual death from alcohol poisoning, seeing as drinking will be the only way to enjoy the crapfest that will be a Bears Super Bowl appearance. At least with being drunk I'll have something in common with Kyle Orton.

Showing off what he learned at Purdue

- That's leaves us with New Orleans. Normally I would root for them. I actually have owned a Saints hat for nearly five years now, bought in support of my Aaron Brooks-Deuce McAllister fueled juggernaut of a fantasy football team. I am an unabashed Reggie Bush apologist, and I think the team will be damn fun to watch. But you know if they make it there will be hours and hours of Katrina footage. Do you know how hard it is to go on a fucking 8 hour beef and beer bender while having to see a bloated, soggy corpse on the TV every ten seconds? Plus Drew Brees' mole is creepy.

Moley Moley Moley Moley

So there you have it, how to root against everybody. Actually this weekend, I will be at TigerFest, pictures (hopefully) and a report later in the weekend.

No comments: