Live Blog: Game 1

Pregame: No one outside of Detroit, even inside of Detroit, is giving the Tigers much of a chance. so I'll leave it at that, and hope I'm not pulling a T.O. by the 3rd inning
Pre-Game: Audioslave song to open things up...well it beats Rob Thomas. And the series you'll end up hating before one episode even airs is..."Justice". I have the T.V. on mute but I think butJoe Buck is saying, "Hello, I'm Joe Buck and I think my own farts smell delicious. Tim McCarver is down in the Yankee dugout sucking Jeter's "intangibles". I don't know I'm not good at lipreading. IT'S GAME TIME!
Top of the 1st: Well at least Granderson didn't strike out. Polanco grounds out, I sense a recurring theme. Wang gets Casey to ground out to end the inning. I'm not impressed anyone can get Casey to ground out.
Bottom 1st: Unfrozen Caveman Outfielder with the groundout. Jeter with a little single over Guillen's head. Let the fellatio of Jeter begin. Big League Nate jams Abreu, Jeter out at 2nd. It's deep, It's out. End of 1, 0-0.
Top 2nd: Yes Tommy, October is the time to root against the Yankees. Maggs with a deep leadoff double. Fear the Mullet. 3-0 to Guillen. Full count. Walked him 2 on no one out. Hit and Run without the hit, Maggs is dead at 3rd. Pudge with a K, Monroe with a groundout, inning over.
Bottom 2nd: Take THAT juicer. A-rod up. Hey Pat Ewing's here, what better good luck charm than a guy who's won nothing. NICE SNAG of a line drive by Polanco. Matsui pops out, 2 down. Posada goes through the middle two on. Thank God Giambi's fat ass won't be able to score on a base hit...in theory. Nice pitch by Nate, Cano is jammed and the Tigers are out of the inning. End of 2, 0-0.
Top 3rd: former Yankee farmhand Marcus Thames with the second leadoff double for the Tigers. Time for some smallball? Inge hits a dribbler to A-rod, Thames stuck at 2nd. Base hit Granderson, runner at the corners with 1 out, and Polanco coming to the plate. Double play, poop. Another wasted opportunity.
Bottom 3rd: UCO simulates one of his throws from the outfield with an "infield single" McCarver said something about guys that squat for a living. I'll be putting it back on mute shortly. Crap, Jeter doubles, and runners on 2nd an 3rd with no outs. Abreu double, 2-0 Yankees. 3-0 with Sheffield bringing in Abreu with a single, please stop the bleeding Nate. Juiceambi goes yard 5-0. I have now soiled myself. A-Rod with a hit, anyone not get a hit yet? Grilli up in the pen. Finally, Matsui makes the first out 2 hours into this inning. Nice catch Maggs. Robs a double from Posada. Cano pops out to Monroe, inning of hell over. 5-0 Yankees.
Top 4th: Tigers need at least a run or two simply to keep myself motivated to keep doing this blog tonight. Casey does not hit a leadoff double. Maggs out on the first pitch. Super. Double for Guillen. Leyland might need one of those other tirades to light a fire under the Tiger's asses right now. Yet another gratuitous celebrity shot, who are they going to show in Detroit? Tim Allen, Jeff Daniels? Pudge swinging for the fences, strikes out. Another runner in scoring position stranded.
Bottom 4th: Way to miss the beginning of the inning Fox, UCO flies out to right. Yet another hit just over the head of an infielder. Next year all 7 footers. Mr Intangible caught in a rundown, 2 out. Inning over, no further damage. Still the Yankees 5-0.
Top 5th: Solo shot by Monroe...baby steps 5-1. Another groundout. Base hit Inge. Now would be a great time to put some hits together. Nope, pop out from Granderson. Polanco brings in Inge with a double 5-2. Casey with a double, 5-3, now we got ourselves a ballgame. Action in the Yankee Bullpen, some fat guy, didn't catch the name. Bruney? Maggs strikes out. Good inning nonetheless. A quick bottom of the 5th would be delightful.
Bottom 5th: Pop up from Sheffield, good start. Doink! Juicer gets plunked again. Delayed called strike 3, sit down A-Rod, good middle. Matsui out, good ending, I get my wish. End of 5, 5-3 Yankees.
Top 6th: Proctor up in the bullpen. Wang likes pasta, what is this the little league world series? I don't give a shit what Wang listens to. 3 groundball outs.
Bottom 6th: What a play by Inge to bail out Robertson's sorry fielding ass, 2 out. Damon sticks out his bat and gets a hit, everything's coming up Milhouse for the Yankees tonight. Grilli and Walker up in the Pen. Jeter's 4for 4 with a double, Damon to 3rd. Crap. Ground ball Polanco can't get it...and he's still down, 2 runs score. 7-3. Not good. Robertson's night is over. Grilli in, pick off thrown away, Abreu to 2nd. Sheffield grounds out to end the inning. 7-3 Yankees and the Tigers need to score some runs in the next inning or it's over.
from Inge. Wang is pulled (Top 7th: Made in TaiwanG that is so gay. But he did just get Thames to whiff, and a groundouthee hee hee), Mike Myers is in, I pray he doesn't pitch on Halloween, Buck and McCarver would force mass suicides with that one. Now's the time to get those runs, before Rivera gets in. Ask and you shall receive Granderson takes it deep. 7-4. New pitcher coming up for the Yankees. Proctor is in, and promptly gives up a hit to an apparently non-injured Polanco. Another hit, runners at the corners for Maggs, make them pay you Venezuelan piece of shit. Sorry channeled Ozzie Guillen there. Pop fly out, though I had flashbacks to a couple years ago with Damon barreling in like that. Need to shut them down in the bottom of the inning and attack the Yankee bullpen before it's too late.
7th inning stretch.
Bottom 7th: Now Walker's in let's hope he doesn't repeat his performance from Friday. If you were going to walk Giambi why not just plunk him again? A-rod lines out, and 0 for 3 Matsui's up, why do I smell a hit? Nope a fielder's choice but nice hustle by Matsui. No wonder the U.S. auto companies are in trouble look at that Japanese work ethic. And he's at 3rd now, after a Posada single. Finally the Yankees leave some runners on the bases. Now the Tigers have Guillen, Pudge and Monroe up. Pretty much a last chance, I don't see the bottom of the order (or any of the order) doing much against Rivera.
Top 8th: Farnsworth's in. It's like Fox is ordering the Yankees to make it closer so people will watch. 4 pitch walk. Keep taking it he throws a strike, then take him deep. 7 pitches later his first strike. Pudge needs to get back on the juice. One out. Damn you Tim McClelland and your late strike calls. Two down. We get it there are people in the stands, I can hear them,
STOP SHOWING THEM AND MISSING ACTION ON THE FIELD!!!!! Fuck me, a pop up and the half of the inning(and more than likely the game) is over.
Bottom 8th: If there was any lingering doubt in my mind about the outcome of this game, Jeter caps his 5 for 5 night with a home run. 8-4.
Top 9th: Last stand. Consider the Tigers lucky if they get one person on base. There's your one, Granderson loops a broken bat single into left. Double play, game blouses. Yankees win 8-4, up in the series 1-0.
Postgame: The Tigers only had two hits less than the Yankees, but 4 less runs. Not to sound like Roy Williams, but the Tigers left at least 4 runs out on the field. The Yankees didn't, they won. The positives I'm taking away from this game, is that if somehow the Tigers get to the starters, they can win. But that, along with actually stopping the Yankees bats is a huge if. Verlander must pitch his ass off tomorrow.
Hero: Jeter did go 5-5 but it was Abreu who brought him in twice. It was his 2 out 2 RBI single in the 6th that put the Yankees back up by 3 and back in the driver's seat in the game.
Goat: Pudge. The one guy on the Tigers that been there before puts up an 0fer. Stop swinging for the fences and start getting base hits, that's what is going to win games.
Another live blog for game 2 tomorrow.